Our Power is Our Pain

Grieving parents unite for Middle East peace

Story by Kelly Ramundo, USAID and Sahar Kalifa, USAID | Photos by Bobby Neptune for USAID
November 2016

Palestinian Bassam Aramin and Israeli Robi Damelin are unlikely allies.

But they share a powerful bond: the loss of a child to conflict.

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A woman and a man looking off in the distance.
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Woman looks at a photo of a young man hanging on a wall.

Robi’s son David was killed by a Palestinian sniper in 2002.

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Man sitting in front of a building.

Bassam’s young daughter Abir was killed by an Israeli border guard on her way home from school in 2007.

The Israeli-Palestinian conflict is one of modern history’s most protracted and complex crises.

Many parents like Bassam and Robi have grieved for lost children since the conflict started more than 60 years ago.

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Two women and a man sitting at a table together.

Despite their tragic loss, Robi and Bassam dedicate their lives to advocating for peace, reconciliation and tolerance in the region.

Today, these friends serve as spokespeople for the Parents Circle Families Forum.

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Close up of a man looking off to the side.
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Close up of a woman smiling.
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Close up of three women huddled together in discussion.

“If you go into an average Israeli classroom, and you ask, ‘who of you have ever met a Palestinian?’ Nobody. Or maybe one… If you don’t know, you fear. Or you hate,” Robi says.

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A man looks at the view of the countryside below.

“It’s very simple. I don’t like you, because I don’t know you. I am scared from you, because I don’t know you,”  Bassam adds.

Since 1995, the Parents Circle Families Forum has fostered empathy between Israelis and Palestinians through education and advocacy projects.

Robi, Bassam and more than 600 other families spread peace, reconciliation and tolerance in the region through the organization.

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A woman standing
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Close up of a man's face

“Our main power is our pain. And because it’s indescribable pain, you want to prevent any other family from tasting this bitterness, everywhere around the world.” — Bassam

Robi and Bassam have turned their loss and pain into a catalyst for dialogue.

The duo travels throughout Israel, the West Bank and across the world to share their personal stories with anyone who will listen.

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A woman standing in front of a group of people seated in chairs.
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A man stands in front of a group of people.

“We speak all the time, on radio, television. We travel internationally—I can’t even remember how many countries we’ve been in in the past 5 years.” —  Robi

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Close up of a woman
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Three people huddled together in discussion.
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A man standing and speaking into a microphone.
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A woman standing in front of a group of people.
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Close up of two women seated with other people around a table.

“Robi found me. I want to thank her that she’s a part of my life, simply. I love her as a friend, as a mother, as a human being. And this is above the conflict.” — Bassam

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A woman and a man sit next to each other facing other people.

About This Story

The Parents Circle Families Forum, a nonprofit organization supported by USAID, is made up of more than 600 Palestinian and Israeli families who lost a family member to the conflict. The organization was established in 1995 by Yitzhak Frankental and several bereaved Israeli families.

USAID has supported The Parents Circle Families Forum since 2008 through various projects and activities including training sessions and dialogue encounters. The goal is to foster humanization and empathy towards both Israelis and Palestinians and to break down the psychological barriers by providing a platform to communicate.

This project is just one of dozens that are supported through USAID’s Conflict Management and Mitigation (CMM) program.

In many cases, these projects bring Israelis and Palestinians together for the first time. Since 2004, the U.S. Government has invested $84 million across 100 grants.

The CMM program is part of the U.S. Government’s effort to support people-to-people peacebuilding efforts worldwide. These activities bring together individuals of different backgrounds and help communities address conflict, reconcile differences and promote tolerance and peaceful coexistence. By supporting reconciliation activities and working on common goals around economic development, environment, health, education, sports, arts and information technology, USAID is building more democratic and resilient societies.

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